Having told their wives they were “Just nipping down to the corner shop”, the Editor and his mate Perdix hopped on a ‘plane to Malaysia. Nothing other than one night in a hotel had been booked. After a brief stay in Kuala Lumpur, they got fed up of eating frogs and made their way to the island of Fuckit (Some call it Phuket, or “Poo-Kay”) for the Fuckit Bike Week. Chris had arranged to meet up with Atan, a Malaysian Chop-Builder he’d been corresponding with. After they finally found him in a crowd of 6,000, Atan suggested they go to Bangkok, where he could show them around the Thai bike builders. This should be interesting, as Atan spoke Malay with a minute spattering of English, Thai, hand signs and grunts, whilst Chris and Perdix only spoke English. As for the Thai’s, they only speak…..Thai!

They suggested flying there, but Atan had arranged a lift. Perdix said “Why not”? This is why not. The transport was a 2-seater pickup truck, and there were 2 Chops strapped in the back. The driver was in a blind rage because he hadn’t won anything, and it was 1600 kilometres to the outskirts of the city.

After a flat-out drive at night, they hit Bangkok (almost literally) 16 hours later. After another 4 hours they reached the city centre. A plane would have taken an hour. Luckily Atan had found them a nice hotel for £3 a night. It turned out to also be a Brothel. The bike scene in Thailand is amazing, and the build quality superb, even with all work being done outside on the floor. Think of English Chops in the 1970’s, and you’ve got Thai-Style, only the forks are even longer!

From Bangkok, they hired a Taxi (driven by a moonlighting Policeman) to Pattaya, home to some amazing Builders. Imagine building a frame with chickens, dogs and goats wandering through the workshop. After eating a few nice Thai meals with their new, beautifully friendly, Thai mates, it was time to return home. When Perdix’s wife asked him why it had taken two weeks to go shopping, he simply said “They’d run out of milk”.

This adventure is serialised in several issues. It’s a “Must read” feature.